EMBRACE THE DARKNESS
I don’t talk about my BDSM stuff on this site very much, in fact I don’t think I’ve talked about it at all except in passing because that is not what this site is about. But the other night Donna and I were at a small gathering at a friend’s house after our Slosh and he was telling someone who has moved from another state about some of the nasty things people say about him.
Now, our friend is a good person, but he has a tendency to make people dislike him because does tend to be larger than life, very public about who he is and what he does and he is demanding. He’s a self-made man and the qualities that have made him very successful in business have not always served him well in his personal life. He realizes this but he has never really come to grips with being disliked and when he was telling his stories, I could hear the very real pain in his voice because he so desperately wants to be liked.
I listened and then told a story about a time when people were shocked about something I was doing and then took the advantage of their being in the playspace one night to really shock them. I concluded with the advice I always give, “If you are going to be the bad guy, be the BAD guy!”
And there does not seem to be any question that my way works better. The people that don’t like me tend to stay quiet because it does not do any good. I don’t have to buy friends. People just like to be around me.
Now, what the hell has any of this got to do with anything?
If you accomplish anything in life, you are going to leave some people around who will really not like you. There may even be people who hate you enough that they pray the rosary daily for you to die of Leprosy. But you cannot let that bother you. In fact you have to learn to enjoy it. If someone disapproves of what you do, or what you say, or what you think, slap them across the face with it. Ram it down their throats. It is liberating beyond words.
And don’t worry about social isolation. You’ll have friends, lots of friends, because people like outlaws. They will want to bask in your reflective glory and wish that they had the nerve to do the things you do and get away with. It is a pity that they have not realized that they can get away with the same things if only they have the will to do them.
Learn to chuckle quietly. Learn to sneer. Be above it all while being beneath it all. And do not let the opinions of those who do not matter bother you, while remembering that the people who matter don’t care and the people who care don’t matter.
I don’t talk about my BDSM stuff on this site very much, in fact I don’t think I’ve talked about it at all except in passing because that is not what this site is about. But the other night Donna and I were at a small gathering at a friend’s house after our Slosh and he was telling someone who has moved from another state about some of the nasty things people say about him.
Now, our friend is a good person, but he has a tendency to make people dislike him because does tend to be larger than life, very public about who he is and what he does and he is demanding. He’s a self-made man and the qualities that have made him very successful in business have not always served him well in his personal life. He realizes this but he has never really come to grips with being disliked and when he was telling his stories, I could hear the very real pain in his voice because he so desperately wants to be liked.
I listened and then told a story about a time when people were shocked about something I was doing and then took the advantage of their being in the playspace one night to really shock them. I concluded with the advice I always give, “If you are going to be the bad guy, be the BAD guy!”
And there does not seem to be any question that my way works better. The people that don’t like me tend to stay quiet because it does not do any good. I don’t have to buy friends. People just like to be around me.
Now, what the hell has any of this got to do with anything?
If you accomplish anything in life, you are going to leave some people around who will really not like you. There may even be people who hate you enough that they pray the rosary daily for you to die of Leprosy. But you cannot let that bother you. In fact you have to learn to enjoy it. If someone disapproves of what you do, or what you say, or what you think, slap them across the face with it. Ram it down their throats. It is liberating beyond words.
And don’t worry about social isolation. You’ll have friends, lots of friends, because people like outlaws. They will want to bask in your reflective glory and wish that they had the nerve to do the things you do and get away with. It is a pity that they have not realized that they can get away with the same things if only they have the will to do them.
Learn to chuckle quietly. Learn to sneer. Be above it all while being beneath it all. And do not let the opinions of those who do not matter bother you, while remembering that the people who matter don’t care and the people who care don’t matter.